The Week of Hell-A Story Nothing Else... or is it?
DAY 1
The beautiful woman Alyssa offered me a blue pill today... I asked if it would hurt me and she said only if you find pleasure painful. I debated for a long time if I should take it I don't even know what it is, finaly I decide one time can't hurt so I swallowed it. Soon I was in a dream world full of colors, pleasures and endless posibilities.
It was so beautiful...
DAY 2
All I could think about was what I felt last night and how I could go back there. I needed to talk to Alyssa bad, So I went to a party where I new she would be. She was drunk, half naked, and so beautiful... GOD I wanted her to give me another blue pill and I also wanted her body... She was so beautiful....
beauty can hurt!
DAY 3
I got another pill from her and went to a world of pleasure once again. This time though she came with me and it was great. She told me some sad storries and why she did drugs. Aperently her father had raped her and beat her many times when she was younger... I felt so sad, even in the world of pleasure.
Things aren't always what they seem to be.
DAY 4
I noticed that I've been very touchy and easy to offend lately. I'm still the same person even if I do drugs it doesn't make me a worse person does it? That night I went to Alyssa's house and got fucked up with her again... We were all alone in her house. You could've heard my lonely heart beat. I don't know how or why it happend but we had sex...it wasn't even close to what I dreamed it would be.
Dreams are always better than the reality!
DAY 5
I've gotten everything and more. Yet I feel worse than before. I don't know who I am or where I am anymore. I know that I can't continue to live like this but one more day won't hurt...will it?
Every day hurts now...
DAY 6
I went to her house again yesterday. But today will be the last I'm going to go over there and give her one final kiss and tell her that I can't continue like this.
Love is missery....
Day 7
The first day of my new drug free life. I went to her house yesterday and gave her a kiss. Not a lustful kiss, a good bye kiss. I was kissing a lot good bye, I was kissing the drugs that I hated, the paradise I loved, the woman I could've ended up with, and a future full of problems... all gone...
I still wonder what could've been.
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Amanda-My Love!
What can I say about the woman who stole my heart? How did she do it? I don't know but what I do know is that I LOVE her. It's hard to explain how I could fall for someone so fast, It's never happened to me before, not like this anyway. But there is so much to Amanda, one of the things that attracts me to her more than anything, believe it or not, is that she's not affraid to be herself. It's wierd I know... and a lot of people don't understand my feelings towards her, and honestly sometimes I don't understand myself, but I do know that I feel like I should at least give it a try. GOD!!! She's makin college so much easier and harder at the same time it's funny. Whats really funny is how things work out... I'll explain that later! A new thing has come between me and Amanda... her MOM!!! But it's not really stopping me, I'll just have to see how things turn out. Everything will work out if it was meant to be!
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